Borg Life

Technical Diary of a lonesome Borg


Project maintained by SmilyBorg Hosted on GitHub Pages — Theme by mattgraham

Kink space needs to be safe space. People are bringing their most vulnerable selves. The parts that often they are scared to admit to themselves, let alone reveal to others.

It is therefore important for the person preparing the event/scene venue to ensure that the space will be as safe and welcoming to all who will be attending.

The only threat of danger or discomfort should be within the negotiated bounds of the scene. Anything outside of that is a breach of the trust that is put in the organiser.

Some dangers and fears are not understood by all as they are a result of lived experience. An example of this would be if a person is a member of a marginalized group which is often discriminated against. If that person is placed in a space with another person who is known to discriminate against them, then they would likely be anything from uneasy to terrified. Even if the discriminator has no history of violence, the marginalized person does not know that and may have been subjected to attacks in the past. This leaves the marginalized person feeling unsafe and even dehumanized.

There are 2 options here. Allow the discriminator to remain, causing the marginalized person to feel unsafe which will likely lead to them and any like them to leave the group, or known discriminators can be excluded from events making the events safer and more welcoming places for everyone.

The kink community is already called out for being predominantly white and heterosexual. Allowing any sort of discriminatory behaviour within the kink community will keep it that way as people from marginalized groups will avoid places where discriminators are allowed to be.

In thinking about the discriminator and marginalized person above there are a number of combinations that can play out. A person of colour and a racist is just one example, but while writing that I was mostly thinking of my own experiences as a trans person dealing with people who do not respect my identity. This has happened. It has happened at parties in Durban. And not one person said a word against the asshole who was giving me a hard time. This severely reduced my enjoyment of those events and meant that I would not play at all when that particular person was around. It was a long time ago, but the point stands. When nothing is done about verbal abuse, it is seriously hard to believe that anything will be done about physical abuse, and besides, the mental scars can last a lot longer anyway. It’s hard enough to deal with 2 days of sinus trauma from smoke after parties, let’s not have to deal with months of therapy from the mental and emotional trauma.